Communication

Parents can have a profound influence on their student’s decisions. If conversations do not go well, then the relationship may need to be strengthened and different communication skills attempted.

Watch these videos to find out some students' choices related to alcohol and cannabis/marijuana, and possible parental impact.

You will be most effective and influential if you remember that talking to your student about alcohol and marijuana use is not a one-time conversation — it’s a series of conversations that occur over time. You will need to keep the conversation going throughout their entire college experience. 

The effectiveness of your communication about alcohol and cannabis/marijuana is reflective of the relationship you have with your student. Is there a pattern of open communication in your relationship? Have you discussed difficult issues with them (i.e. sex, drugs, friends, and especially alcohol and drug use)?

Accurate information about the current drinking and marijuana scene at NMC is vital to help parents’ credibility when talking to their students. If students know their parents are informed, they’re more likely to take what their parents say seriously and talk honestly about drinking and marijuana use.

Not all drinking and substance use is the same. Successful conversations must be intentionally focused on drinking and other risky behaviors. Parents help prevent high-risk drinking and substance misuse when they talk directly and openly about alcohol and marijuana, and their expectations for their student's behavior.

The Year One College Behavior Profile (Y1CBP) is intended to be used as a pre-matriculation prevention program for entering first-year students to help correct the misperceptions that students have about the prevalence of alcohol and marijuana use before they begin their college careers.

NMC uses this tool to educate new students about the choices, risks, and consequences of drinking, marijuana, and other high-risk behaviors during college.

Family Values About Drinking

When drinking is and isn't appropriate:

• Is alcohol involved in family get-togethers? If so, how is safe drinking modeled by adults?
• What messages about drinking did you send to your student as they were growing up?
• What are the family beliefs about drinking socially?
• What are some family values that may be affected if unhealthy drinking occurs? Some families have concerns that drinking may lead to problems related to sexual activity, physical health, productivity in school, and careers.

Why People Choose to Drink

• Peer pressure.
• Escape from the stresses of college life.
• Misperception that everyone is drinking, or it’s just part of college life.

Suggest Alternatives

Make sure your student has a plan to suggest some activities with friends instead of drinking or using marijuana.

Use Humor

If your student typically converses with a lot of humor, advise them to use it to think of things to say that can get them out of a bad situation. Encourage them to make humorous statements on their own, so it’s something they feel confident in.

Be a good actor

Students often report holding a drink but not actually drinking it. This trick helps so others will leave them alone and not pressure them to drink something.

Share Responsibility

Have your student talk with a friend before the party to share a plan to stay safe. Encourage them to ask their friend to help make sure they both stick to the plan.

Plan Ahead

Most underage drinking occurs at parties, and in most cases, your student knows that alcohol will be at the party. Students may also be more likely to use cannabis/marijuana in social situations. They need to have a plan for how they’re going to deal with the situation, so they’ll stay safe.

Leave the Scene

Suggest your student has a plan for how to get home if there’s no one at the party who has not been drinking or using marijuana/cannabis or if they’re in a situation they feel is unsafe.

Turn Pressure Around

Question the other person about their intentions. Effective phrases to set clear ad firm boundaries include:

• “Why are you trying so hard to make me do something I don’t want to do?”
• “I told you, no. I’m not going to do that.”
• “Stop pressuring me.”
• “What kind of friend are you to keep pressuring me? Back off.”

Encourage Assertiveness

One of the most important ways for your student to stay safe is to develop assertiveness. Whether it’s related to being assertive and standing firm in their plans for how to deal with being offered alcohol or in how much they’ll drink, assertiveness will help minimize the risks they’ll have.

Telling your student how to safely use alcohol or marijuana/cannabis rather than telling them not to seems like you're giving them permission to participate in risky behaviors. We get it – ideally, your student would avoid drinking or using marijuana/cannabis, but the reality is that your student may experiment in college. 

Harm reduction is exactly as it sounds: reducing potential harms through a variety of educational and behavioral strategies. 

If your student chooses to consume alcohol or try marijuana/cannabis, the best thing you can do is arm them with accurate information and strategies, so they know how to protect themselves from the abundance of secondary harms and know how to help a friend in need of emergency assistance due to substance use. 

It only takes a single episode of risky behaviors to change career expectations, experience legal consequences, end up with a criminal record, cause accidents, or experience sexual assault.

ALCOHOL HARM REDUCTION TIPS

• Know what a standard serving of alcohol is.
• Know your limits, stick to them, and stay in control.
• Determine how many drinks to have and stop at your number.
• Eat right before and while drinking.
• Don't mix alcohol with marijuana or other substances.
• Limit yourself to one drink an hour. Remember, shots take about 20 minutes to hit.
• Drink a non-alcoholic "spacer" between drinks and stay hydrated.
• Check if any medications you're taking interact badly with alcohol.
• Don’t drink if you have a strong family history of alcoholism.
• Drink for quality, not quantity (a 6-pack of imported or micro beer).
• Be aware of your situation. If you feel unsafe, leave.
• Watch your drinks while being made and after. Never leave your drink alone, even if you only have a soft drink.
• Don't drink and drive. Depending on your sex, body composition, and how much you consumed, it may take between 12-24 hours for your body to completely metabolize alcohol. 

WAYS TO HELP FRIENDS

• Be the designated driver.
• Be a role model for your friends.
• Know and respond to alcohol poisoning.
• Never leave an intoxicated person alone.
• If you are concerned about the physical well-being of a friend who is overly intoxicated, call 911. The Nebraska Good Samaritan Law gives minors limited legal immunity if they call for medical assistance, remain on the scene and cooperate with law enforcement and the University Diversion Policy provides an option for the setting aside of the Code of Conduct violation.

MARIJUANA HARM REDUCTION TIPS

• Avoid using daily or almost daily.
• Be sure you trust your source. You might not know the purity or potency of the cannabis/marijuana you are taking.
• Don't mix marijuana/cannabis with alcohol or other substances. Using two or more drugs at the same time can amplify the impairing effects of each drug.
• Be honest with yourself about why you want to use marijuana/cannabis, especially if you are using it socially or to cope with stress. Talking with someone, such as a friend or counselor about what you are experiencing is a better alternative to using marijuana/cannabis to mask negative emotions.
• Find healthier ways to deal with stress, such as daily exercise, practicing yoga, listening to music, meditating, or learning relaxation techniques.
• Understand that marijuana/cannabis use can make anxiety and stress worse and lead to poor sleep quality, irritability, and depression. Marijuana/cannabis use may also increase the risk of psychotic symptoms for those with a pre-existing vulnerability to psychosis.
• Avoid using marijuana/cannabis, if possible, as marijuana/cannabis may result in DUIs, and problems with attendance as you may stop caring about the consequences of missing class or failing assignments. If you find that you no longer care about your performance in your classes, seek out a medical healthcare professional for support and guidance related to your use of marijuana/cannabis.
• Take your time. It can be hard to find the right dose with edibles or other derivatives. You may get much higher for much longer than you wanted to. To prevent this, use a small amount and wait at least one hour to feel the effects before using more.
• Remember: If you feel different, you drive differently. Marijuana/cannabis can impair your motor coordination, judgment, and other skills related to safe driving. Wait at least six hours after using marijuana/cannabis before driving, biking, or performing other safety-sensitive activities. Depending on the quantity you have used, you need to wait longer.
• Plan for a safe ride home. Driving impaired by any substance whether it is legal or illegal, is against the law in all 50 states and the District of Columbia, which means you can get a DUI if you are driving while impaired by marijuana/cannabis. You can designate a sober driver, give your keys to a trusted friend who is not under the influence, and/or use a ride-share service.

BYSTANDER INTERVENTION TIPS

The five D's will help you understand how to respond safely, early, effectively, and with kindness.

• Direct: Stop the person immediately if the behavior is dangerous. Take the substance away to keep them from drinking or using. Take their keys away to stop them from driving.
• Distract: If the person is in a risky situation, invite them to join you in a safer environment and stay with them.
• Delegate: Find someone else who can intervene – bar staff, an organization leader, or someone who knows the person better.
• Delay: If you’re not able to intervene at the moment, and the problem isn’t urgent, follow up the next day to calmly share your concerns about how substance misuse is affecting them. What specific behaviors worried you?
• Document: Take a screenshot if you see a concerning text or social media post and follow up.

Be kind. Consider how you would want someone to help you if the roles were reversed. Make sure you don’t leave anyone in a situation that may be dangerous to themselves or others. And, if you see even one sign of alcohol poisoning or overdose, always call 911.

There’s a great deal of misinformation about alcohol, social drinking, alcohol abuse, and cannabis/marijuana. It can be a powerful thing for parents to talk with children about the potential risks associated with alcohol and drug use. 

You can dispel myths.

College students often begin drinking socially and think they can handle it on a regular basis while at the same time keeping things in perspective. There are long and short-term consequences of such experimentation. 

Most college students believe that drinking coffee will help sober you up, making you less drunk. This is not true and can lead to situations where your student may take dangerous risks (such as drinking more or driving drunk) because they have just had a cup of coffee.

Some students also believe that police can’t tell if they’re driving under the influence of cannabis/marijuana, or that they drive better when they’re high. However, many law enforcement officers are trained Drug Recognition Experts (DREs) who have the ability to detect physical and psychophysical signs of drug impairment. Visit FeelDifferentDriveDifferent.org to learn more.

Some students believe that “legal” substances such as Delta 8 are safe to use because they are not illegal. However, Delta 8 is a psychoactive substance that has not been evaluated or approved by the FDA for safe use. Delta 8 products may also show up on drug tests, and there is no way to differentiate between Delta 8 or Delta 9 (marijuana/cannabis) on positive drug tests. 

We are not so naïve that we think parents talking with their college students about alcohol use will put an end to alcohol consumption. However, you should do everything in your power to discourage underage drinking or, at least, to encourage responsible behavior that does not put your student at risk of serious negative consequences.

ENCOURAGE ASSERTIVENESS 

One of the most important ways for your children to stay safe is to develop assertiveness. Whether it’s related to being assertive and standing firm in their plans for how to deal with being offered alcohol or in how much they’ll drink, assertiveness will help minimize the risks they’ll have.

College students often drink not because they have been pressured by their friends into drinking, but rather because they think everyone is doing it and that it’s an appropriate thing to do. Talk to your student about how assertive they are now with their peers and how they can strengthen that assertiveness.

Watch these videos to find out about some tactics that students use to avoid high-risk behavior related to substance use. 

Situations Where Assertiveness Is Important

Certain situations can be more challenging than others. Discuss how they would react in the following scenarios, and how they can safely navigate challenging situations:

• Your student is at an activity with friends. The host had not planned on serving alcohol, but someone else brought it.
• Your student is pressured into driving while drunk or under the influence of marijuana, or pressured into getting in a car with someone who is under the influence of alcohol or drugs.
• The designated driver for the group doesn't do his job and drinks at the party but says he's sober enough to drive. Your student feels pressure to ride with them.
• Your student goes to a party where alcohol is present. Your student is offered a drink but refuses. Their friends start teasing them about "needing to get used to college" or "needing to grow up."
• People pressure your student to play some type of drinking game.
• Your student is at a party and people pressure them to drink more than planned or wanted, or to try marijuana.
• Your student's fraternity brothers try to pressure him into participating in a hazing ritual.

There are a few keys to successful communication, but none of them alone can accomplish the goal of helping your student navigate the risks associated with alcohol and marijuana at college. 
Only you know your student's strengths and which skills they need to work on. Your input can truly make a difference, especially if it is founded on accurate information that is effectively communicated and builds upon a healthy relationship.